A Lesson in Fear Dissipation

Grace looks at the window as the wall of clouds that resembles The Nothing approaches. Her brow furrows. She looks between me and her dad. She looks scared, but I wait and see to avoid teaching her my personal reaction.

"Thunder?" she asks.

"Yes, baby, that is thunder."

She looks at the window, looks at us, and turns back to the wall of clouds. Her face brightens and her eyes, mouth, cheeks, and brow beam and smile as she raises her hand and begins to vigorously wave.

In her beautiful chirpy voice that carries just as much smile as her face she says, "Hi Thunder."

I love that little girl and her approach to our world. Thanks chica.

Almost Summer...

Suited Up

It is not officially summer because the cicadas are not out yet, but it certainly feels like summer is here. The neighborhood pool does not open until Memorial Day, but today we broke out our little baby pool. And my little water girl couldn't be happier.

In Her Little Girl Pool

She laughed and splashed and poured water. Sheer, pure delight. And it was really fun for all of us --- Grace, Jeff, me, the furcrew --- just enjoying being outside and being together. Today we had a taste of summer and, if this any indication, it certainly promises to be a good one.

The Joys of Skyping

Waiting for Her Grammy to Get Online

A few days ago Gracie discovered the joy of skyping. She and her Grammy connected online. I wasn't sure if she would understand it, but she did instantly. She knew that was her Grammy and they were talking. When she saw her Grammy online and they started chatting, she did have to run to our guest room where her Grammy normally stays to make sure that Grammy had not snuck in there while we weren't watching. But the guest room was empty and, after checking to make sure she had not missed Grammy coming in, Grace was perfectly happy to visit with Grammy on the computer.

Now, several times a day, Grace walks over to the computer chair and asks to skype. She points to the computer and says, "Gree-ee." (her way of saying Grammy). She has had to learn that Grammy is not always available to chat, but if we catch her online, they chat for a bit. Grace tells her about her day, Grammy tells her about hers. They sing songs, show each other things, and then, when it is time to get off, they say bye bye and Grace will sometimes blow a kiss. It just makes everyone seem a little closer. Now that we know it is such a success, we are looking forward to getting up and skyping with all the grandparents soon.

Oh, The Tragic Cry, “Bunnies!”

Grace is a big girl and sleeps with three stuffed animals: 2 bunnies (Emerson and Sven) and Sock Kitty. Because of the company that Sock Kitty keeps, he is referred to as a bunny as well by Gracie, and now by Jeff and me as well. We have not heard any objections from Sock Kitty regarding us misnaming him in the group context, so I will assume we are not offending him.

Anyways, Grace generally goes to bed like a champ. We lay her down, say good night, and she goes to sleep. We respect her schedule and she doesn’t mind sleeping. She is really good at it. She sometimes even asks to go to bed before we initiate putting her to bed. But on occasion, there is that rough, off night when you hear the tragic cry of, “Bunnies!” It is a sad, beautiful, and, quite frankly, funny thing.

Here is how the occasional rough bedtime goes. She is in her crib, standing at the edge, and wants out. We say it is time for sleep, wish her good night, tell her we love her, and that is that. She calls Mommy and Daddy. We listen and recognize that it is not in the panicked pitch that indicates she needs comfort, but rather just that she wants us there so she can stay awake in her overly tired state. She whimpers for a bit, escalating a little to see if we will return. Never hitting the panic pitch, she then scoops up the two bunnies and Sock Kitty into her arms and begins to scream and cry, “Bunnies!” and proceeds to throw them over the crib railing one by one. Thump, thump, thump. She then unleashes a torrent of cries repeating, “Bunnies! Bunnies! Bunnies!”

While sad in a way, we have tested out our different responses and see it for what it is. If we come back in the room and return the bunnies and Sock Kitty to the crib, it becomes a routine to bring us back in so she won’t go to sleep. Generally the bunny throwing only happens when she has gotten a little too tired (for example going to bed a whole 5 minutes after bed time --- ah, my schedule-oriented kiddo). And if you can get over the sad crying and wailing, “Bunnies!” it is really kind of funny and somewhat sophisticated in certain ways.

After realizing her bunnies will sleep on the floor and neither mommy nor daddy will come to play the “game,” she lies down and falls into that deep angelic sleep. When we come into her room in the morning, she smiles, points to her friends on the floor, and chirpily says “Bunnies?” We pick them up, return them to her, and with a huge hug and smile, she says with deep satisfaction of having been reunited, “Bunnies. “

Carl Rogers, Innovative Parenting, and Other Mother’s Day Thoughts

Several weeks ago. A telephone call with my mother:

“So mom, I am reading Carl Rogers and it seems like what he describes IS my childhood and how you raised me.”

“Mmm.” [Silence]

“Did you read Carl Roger’s when you were pregnant with me?”

“Then or before, yes. [soft laughter] And, yes, it just might have influenced how I raised you.”

In my masters program, I have been studying Carl Rogers since I first started. He made tremendous contributions in shaping psychotherapy as we know it today and just generally how we as a society approach human relationships. I recently started reading Carl Rogers’ book On Becoming A Person. It is really strange reading it because at first I was thinking, “Doesn’t everyone know this already?” As I read deeper though, I realized the reason it seemed so familiar and intuitive is that so much of what he says was how I was raised. And, not only was it an obvious influence in how I was raised, but his concepts were part of what made my childhood so unique and my mom’s parenting style so different. While my mom’s parenting was not completely Rogerian in nature, I feel a huge affinity for this book as so much of it is how she interacted with me is in line with Rogerian theory. It is an obvious influence in how she taught me to discover, learn, and interact with the world around me. In reading Rogers, I feel as if I have found some kind of playbook for how parts of my childhood were structured.

Ruth & Liesl November 1980

I find this pretty funny because in many ways we learn to parent from our parents. In some facets we learn from our parents what we want to be as parents and in others what we don’t want to be. But before I had ever made any of these connections about Rogers, my mom, and my childhood, when I was pregnant with Grace, I learned about Carl Rogers through the intro class in my masters program. While I found that he does not completely align with my theoretical orientation regarding therapy, I thought, “What a great theory to have discovered right before having a baby!” To raise this small creature who has just entered the world with his person-centered focus in mind --- what a great way to approach parenting a newborn, an infant, and beyond. Several weeks before she was born, I wrote on a small piece of paper


Unconditional Positive Regard
and tucked it in the ready-and-waiting diaper drawer in her nursery. We were so looking forward to that sweet little girl coming out to meet us, but I knew there would be crying and late nights and tired parents. In my prenatal meditations, I focused on those words. I sent them to her as she shifted in my belly. And when those late night feedings came even though it felt like I had just closed my eyes to sleep, I breathed these words and felt ok. I feel like I was able to stay in the moment with her and appreciate where I was even though I was tired and just learning how to take care of that precious little girl. Unconditional positive regard is a powerful concept and one that anyone can appreciate, therapist or not.
It is funny because then and up until now I thought I was innovating a bit of parenting from Carl Rogers with my Rogerian mantra, but it turns out that apparently I was really just tapping into how I was parented. I can’t help but smile. I guess sometimes I have to go through a lot of process and formal learning to discover what I already knew.

So to give credit where credit is due, thanks to my mom for modeling how to be a good mom and teacher. This modeling definitely shows up who I am as a parent and how I am helping co-parent Grace. I am sure I am not doing everything perfectly, but I feel most days like I am a great mom to Grace. And I am most certainly grateful in ways I cannot even express to get to spend my life with such a kind, smart, beautiful little girl.

Claiming Her Place at the Table

Breakfast is our guaranteed family meal every day. Every morning we have a sit-down family breakfast. We try to have dinner together when schedules permit, but breakfast is a guarantee and is built into the schedule. It is a cherished ritual.

Up until this morning, Grace's high chair has been pulled up to the table for our meals so she is very much a part of it all. But this morning, Grace decided she wanted to sit on a chair at the table like Jeff and me. We told her that with sitting in a chair at the table comes great responsibility --- you need to sit still, and you have to stay sitting, and you have to wait for mom or dad to help you down from the table. We said it was fine to stay in the high chair, but, if she still really wanted to sit on a big chair at the table, she would need to sit like we outlined. She became very serious and put her hands on the big chair. She was ready and committed.

So I set a place mat, cloth napkin, and flatware for her. I moved her breakfast plate from her high chair to her new place. And we put a booster seat (it was ready and waiting for this moment) on a chair. We placed her in the booster seat and she was perfectly and meticulously still. She picked up her fork. She even took her napkin and placed it on her lap! She is 18 months old. With my weird fixation on certain aspects of etiquette, I was so so proud.

She ate and I could tell by her posture and her chattiness that she was really proud of her new place at the table. When she was done eating, she grabbed a section of the paper, and readit just like we do every morning.

We'll leave the high chair out for a bit because it is nice to give her options, but Grace certainly demonstrated she was ready for her big person place at the table.

Defining a Self of Her Own

Dancing in Her Own Chosen Accessories

That beautiful little girl is my kiddo, but she is also very much her own person. This week has consisted largely of Grace trying to discover who she is and how she is connected to the world around her.

Grace has been selectively choosing what she wants to wear (she wore the same heavy sweater two days in a row even though it was in the 70s outside), studying pictures of herself, and comparing herself to other creatures around her. This morning when I went in to get her, she said hi and gave me a hug as she normally does. She then pointed to my eyes and said, "Eyes." I confirmed that she was correct. She then pointed to her eyes and said, "Eyes." Correct. She then reached up to the birds on her mobile. Upon grabbing one, she raised her eyebrows, smiled, looked at me, and pointed to the bird's eye and said, "Eyes." Correct. She ended with pointing back at her own eyes and labeling them again. We have also done this with noses and other parts all week. (as an aside, to the stuffed animals that don't have mouths... that is sooo hard to explain to a puzzled 17 month old why she cannot find your mouth). Through all this it seems Grace is really beginning to discover how she is similar and different from the creatures and objects around her.

Grace is a person of a million expressions. It has been incredibly enlightening and engaging for me to watch her puzzle about who this person Grace is in the mirror. She studies her reflection and then looks at me and then looks back at herself. She does the same with Jeff. There is a lot of processing going on in that beautiful, smart head of hers.

Some of this definition of self is going to lead (and has led) to the testing of boundaries of self in the world. She is starting to test the parental rule boundaries. I *think* the boundaries we have set are reasonable and I *think* I am doing a pretty good job of providing a consistent reinforcement of the boundaries, although it is sometimes hard when she screams and tears start flowing. Basically our boundaries enforce safety (and are not some arbitrary assertion of power). For example, Rule: You must stay on our front lawn and not go onto the sidewalk unless mommy or daddy goes with you. Test: What happens if I put my toes on the side walk? Consequence: She is scooped up and placed back 5 feet into the lawn with an explanation of why. She has tried the variation of this test where she comes and asks me to come to the sidewalk with her. This results in success where we get to go on a walk on the sidewalk together. She has also tried the just going back on the sidewalk again solo which results in the most disastrous of consequences from her point of view: I pick her up and takes her inside. Once inside, I get down on her eye level and matter-of-factly explain that mommy or daddy must be on the sidewalk with her. There is usually high pitched screaming and sometimes even tears, but within a few minutes, she is ok and we move on. There are many of these experiments and tests going on with her. My responses seems to be working, but I am sure her testing will escalate as she continues to explore the world around her and define herself in relation to it.

I am sure I will (and probably already have) lapsed in how I support her in discovering self and examining boundaries, but she knows she is loved and supported and hopefully that will help her differentiate herself and have the confidence to continue to examine herself and question the world around her. And at those tenser moments where it seems like I might get pulled into the drama of it all, I try to step outside of the moment and see it for what it really is. Just trying to navigate the world and understand how we all relate within it.

A Very Mayerson Easter

We have had an excellent week of celebrating Easter. Last week we kicked it off with Grace's first introduction to the Easter egg hunt. Our little town of Addison had its annual Easter Extravaganza last Saturday which consisted of an Easter egg hunt, music, refreshments, and a visit from the Easter Bunny. I really was not sure that Grace would understand the whole idea of the Easter egg hunt, but figured it would be fun because many of her friends from the neighborhood would be there and Miss Cindy and Miss Keila would be there. Plus, she loves crowds and people and this would be a Grace-friendly event.

We walked to the park and she was instantly excited by the crowds, the decorations, and all of the kids and adults. We brought her Easter basket and pointed to the eggs before the hunt started. Well, the bell went off for us to go get eggs and she ran out and started putting eggs in her basket. She definitely got it. She was collecting eggs fast and understood more was better. Then, the music started playing. Eggs were forgotten and she started dancing. And dancing and dancing and dancing. She helped other people put eggs in their basket and then would dance some more. It was great.

All week Grace's Easter eggs have provided entertainment. I put cheerios or quack n bites, or dried cranberries in her eggs at snack time and we have an egg hunt for snack. So much fun.

Egg Hunting in Pajamas

This morning was real Easter. We woke up and started our day as usual. Then, at around 8:00, we went out front only to discover the Easter bunny had visited our house and hidden eggs all over our front yard. Grace could not have been more thrilled for several reasons: 1) Outside is always better than inside and we usually do not get to go outside until at least after bathtime. It was pretty cool to get to go outside to play in the yard so early in the morning. 2) The Easter bunny had hidden eggs in all of Grace's favorite exploring spots --- in the hose carrier, on the steps, in the side flower bed, and even in Barbara's drain reservoir. 3) The Easter eggs were filled with delicious, oh-so-decadent treats like grahams, cheerios, and dried fruit (yeah, we are putting off her introduction to candy for as long as possible). It was pretty great. She had such a wonderful time and we did too.

Helping Make Easter Dinner

We went to services, had a nice Easter lunch, and had a great afternoon of playing and working in the yard, playing tennis --- yep, Grace plays tennis with us with her own racquet and everything --- and a lovely Easter dinner of meatless meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and veggies. A very happy bunny and egg filled Easter for us all.

Update on Grace Language

Grace talks. Grace has talked for a while, but now she has entire conversations with full sentences. She talks to us, talks to animals, and talks on the phone. Her intonation is correct, asking questions, responding, and, if you ask a question of her, she answers sometimes with deeply thought responses and other times with a simple, "Um, yeah." Most of her talking is in a language I don't understand, but there are some words she clearly has that are from our common language.

Here are Grace's current words and sounds that I understand:

• buack buack - her version of quack quack
  
• ball
  
• belly butt - short for belly button
  
• bird
  
• cat
  
• cheese
  
• dad and daddy
  
• deedah - her way saying of "excuse me;" she consistently says this after she burps and says it with the inflection of excuse me
  
• deedee - means dirty diaper
  
• dog and doggy
  
• door
  
• duck
  
• Elmo
  
• Emma
  
• hi
  
• hippo
  
• juice
  
• meow
  
• mom and mommy
  
• moo
  
• more
  
• ne ne - her word for milk/bottle
  
• off/on
  
• Oka - her way of saying Oskar
  
• ooo ooo aah - what a monkey says
  
• who who - what an owl says
  
• yucky

Saying Yes to a Little Help

Unloading the Dishwasher

For a while now, Grace has been interested in doing everything we do. She watches everything we do closely and then, after testing it out, tries it out on her own. At about 2'10", she does not accept that the difference in our heights or experience should limit her. She wants to be an active participant in taking care of our household and keeping it running. We work to identify roles for her in most everything we do and, once she gets it down, she is actually really good at most all of her helping tasks.

Helping in the Kitchen (Serious Stuff)

All of our simple little tasks add color to our day and give us a great opportunity to discuss vocabulary, colors, concepts, and to strategize (for both of us) how to do things better. It is funny, because I occasionally forget and mistakenly think that parenting is a uni-directional teaching Grace how to do things. But honestly, after the last couple months of her actively helping, we are teaching each other. She has made me reexamine how I do the same little daily tasks I have done for years. She has taken ownership of parts of the tasks. When she hears the buzzer on the washer, she comes and tells me to remind me that it is time for us to switch the laundry. When she sees the green light on the dishwasher indicating it is done, she takes my hand and leads me over to let me know we need to unload it. With even the simplest of tasks, there is so much learning and fun and laughter and exploration going on in all of this.

Most days I love doing all of our tasks together. But occasionally there are days when I sometimes try to just do things the way I used to before I had helping hands. But I then end up with a whiny, upset child at my side and I feel frustrated with the process, with myself, and with her. I begin to feel like a not-so-great parent or person. And then I stop myself. I take a breath and think, "My way is not the only right way," and then turn and say, "Can you help me with this Gracie?" It is like a magic switch. We instantly transform from the Frazzled Mom and Upset Daughter to the Good Collected Mom and the Happy Helpful Daughter. We are that pleasant, happy, harmonious mom and daughter duo that gets a lot accomplished every day together. Here are some of Grace's tasks.

Doing laundry. This was one of Grace's earliest helping tasks. I put the basket of laundry next to the washer. We load it in the washer together. She will also help move clothes from the washer to the dryer. She is in charge of cleaning the lint trap and gets somewhat upset if someone tries to take this duty from her. When the clothes are done drying, she will help unload them into the laundry basket. To keep her involved in the folding stage, I dump all of the clothes on the ground in our bedroom and she passes them to me one by one to fold or hang. We make a game out of it where sometimes she passes them to me really fast and I have to try to keep up. We talk about the different items we are folding and discuss colors, vocabulary, and textures.

Unloading the groceries. This is one of Grace's favorite tasks. When we come in from the grocery store, I set the grocery bags on the floor of the laundry room. Grace gives a little shout of disapproval if I carry them past the laundry room because that usually means I am going to set them on the kitchen counter where she cannot reach them. So I just set them in the floor of the laundry room. I then go stand in the kitchen and say, "Will you please bring me the groceries?"

Item-by-item, Grace unloads each of the bags. Occasionally I will sneak in to assist with something like a glass bottle of olive oil or a bottle of wine, but she does all the rest. She very carefully and meticulously carries and hands me every pear and apple and carton of milk. If it is something heavy or awkward or fragile, after handing it to me, she will smile big and clap for herself. That lets me know she was worried about dropping it and is proud of herself for not. Sweet angel. It is a great system.

Doing dishes. To Grace's dismay, loading the dishwasher is still a parent task. Therefore, the dishwasher does not get loaded if Grace is nearby and idle as it brings forth rather loud protests regarding my denial of her assistance. However, once the dishwasher is loaded and full, Grace puts the detergent tablet in, shuts the compartment, shuts the dishwasher door, and pushes start. Then, when done, she is in charge of unloading the dishwasher. I handle the flatware, but she does the rest. I let her unload all of our glass dishes and glasses. She is very careful -- she understands what fragile means -- and has not broken anything yet (although I have no doubt there will be some breakage in our future --- I periodically break things as well). There are a few irreplaceable pieces I have deemed precious for one reason or another that I slip in and unload (i.e. my pumpkin cups from Japan), but she handles the rest. She carefully takes out each dish and brings it to me to put away in the cabinets. If it goes in a lower cabinet, I will occasionally just show her where it goes and ask her to do it. She is so proud of herself when we are all done.

Cooking. Grace loves to cook. We cook more now than ever before because Grace requests it. She will bring me the measuring cup and then reach up for the stove or counter where we chop and prep items. And Grace really does help with the cooking. She cracks the eggs. She can also pour previously measured items and she can whisk (with assistance) and stir. She hands me what I need. i.e. "Grace, could you please hand me that carrot so I can grate it?" and she hands it to me.

Of course we have had a few accidents and things get a little messy at times. There was the morning that she was tapping the eggs on the counter too softly. I took her hand in mine and demonstrated while saying, "You need to tap them a little harder to make them crack." With the next egg, she did and the yolk and contents went sliding off the counter and onto the floor. Her lower lip quivered, but I smiled, kissed her, and said, "That's how we learn." I picked up another uncracked egg, handed it to her and said try again. And she got it just right.

The whole time we are cooking, we talk about where the food came from, we count and talk about numbers and work on basic math i.e. "We are going to add two eggs. You cracked one already? How many are left?" She does not understand all of it, but I am impressed with how much she does understand. And I think we are laying the groundwork for future understanding and questioning.

Sweeping. So, I don't sweep or vacuum unless absolutely necessary. And I sometime I change my definition of necessary so I can continue to avoid sweeping. It is safe to say I hate (or at least really strongly dislike) sweeping and vacuuming. I am so grateful that the woman who cleans our house does these things. But Grace watches Ivonne sweep and thinks it is something we should do, me included. Grace will request the brooms. I try to get away with just bringing one out, but inevitably, she asks for two. She starts off sweeping with both and generally then hands me one of them. And expects me to use it so we can sweep together. So I do. Still not a fan of sweeping, but sweeping with that little one is not so bad I guess [Smile.]

Putting things away. I like order and things have to have a place or I get flustered and grouchy. It has been this way for a long time. Well, while Grace is sometimes the destroyer of order, she also, at the end of dumping every basket or drawer or bag, is pretty great about putting things away. I say, "Now we need to put our things away!" and we both go to work. And she really is great at putting them in the right basket or bin or drawer. At night when she finishes putting her toys away (Jeff and I helping as well), she turns and smiles and claps for herself. When sitters come and put her toys away for her, afterwards, Grace will sometimes point to and tell me (in her own sentences) what is in different places than normal. I suggest that maybe that is an ok place for it to be. Sometimes it is ok and the item gets to stay in its new location. Other times she just sighs at my inaction and grabs the misplaced item and moves it. Cracks me up. I don't know that this is a good thing since I come from a long line of semi-obsessive English/Kapplars that love order, but it is the way she is (or at least has learned to be --- sorry G!).

Entering the Wonderful World of Pretend

Giving Her Lemur a Drink

Gracie chose a lemur to take home yesterday. Gracie's lemur apparently likes to get hugs, kisses, and likes to ride in the basket of the shopping cart with Grace. She also likes to hop around on our living room furniture and crawl along the ottoman. And, when Grace's lemur gets thirsty, Grace gives her water. I don't think Grace's lemur likes being carried around in Emma's mouth, but that is just a guess. This is what I learned yesterday from watching Grace with her lemur in that wonderful world of pretend. Here is how Grace's lemur came to join us.

Looking Around at the DWA

Yesterday was cold and cloudy. Instead of the zoo or hiking, Jeff, Grace, and I decided to take Mayerson family funday indoors to the Dallas World Aquarium. It was our first time there. We all had a great time. We saw manatees, a sloth, incredible stingrays, gorgeous birds, and many kinds of sharks. There were fish that looked like they were from another world. They had exhibits that could be appreciated at both Grace's eye level and ours. It is an aquarium/zoo where you feel like you are a part of the exhibit, not just staring at animals behind bars.

Studying Stingrays

After seeing many of the exhibits, we took a snack break and went through the gift shop. Grace chose out a little lemur stuffed animal for herself. After we left the DWA, she carried her lemur in the car, hugging it and kissing it and talking to it. We stopped at Whole Foods for shopping and lunch and Grace brought the lemur with us. At lunch, I asked the lemur if she liked tofu and pretended to feed her some. Well, when we got in the car, Grace grabbed her cup and held it up to the lemur's mouth, and made the cutest little clicking/drinking sound with her mouth. I guess the lemur was thirsty after all that activity and lunch. It was really sweet and, to me, marked a new era of play for Grace. I suppose Grace plays pretend a lot of the time already, but I think this movement of giving her lemur water was in some way a different level of pretend play for Grace.

Jeff and I were both huge pretenders as kiddos. It is such a wonderful, fun form of play. I am really excited for Grace that she gets to make up entire worlds, rules, and characters and position herself where she wants to be in those creations. I am so looking forward to being invited to enter her made up worlds of play.

The Process and the Playground

Despite the cold temperatures today, Grace and I headed to the playground. Bundled up, she charged out and climbed the jungle gym and slid down the slide a few times. After she had released the initial burst of energy and sufficiently explored every piece of playground equipment, Grace started one of her projects.

In her survey of the playground, Grace had noticed that there were some displaced pebbles --- pebbles on the slide, pebbles on the pavilion next to the playground, and pebbles on the jungle gym platform. For the remainder of our relatively long visit to the playground, one-by-one, Grace carefully picked up the pebbles and returned them to the ground underneath the jungle gyms. Periodically she would stop to survey her progress and then clap for herself (which I absolutely love and find so delightful). She would then continue her project to restore order. It was very serious work, but she seemed to find it quite rewarding.

It is funny because my first inclination was to assist her. But I stopped myself. This was her project and while some things are together projects, I sensed she needed to "own" this one. Niggling impatience of "I could do this faster and help" flitted at the edge of my consciousness, but I just stood by and watched. After a bit, I was thoroughly relaxed, entranced by her system of approaching the seemingly infinite number of pebbles still to be relocated. It was about the process, not the end goal. A good reminder to me and one that I am trying to keep at the forefront of my thoughts, although I am sure I will forget again as I often tend to do.

Grace's Animal Sounds

A conversation that has taken place a several times in the last couple of days:

Liesl: What does a cow say?
Grace: Moo
Liesl: What does a duck say?
Grace: Back Back [her version of Quack Quack]
Liesl: What does the cat say?
Grace: Mao Mao [her version of Meow Meow]
Liesl: What does the dog say?
Grace: Hi.

So Grace has been surrounded by dogs since the beginning. She hears them bark and we talk about them barking. We also talk a lot about them barking as one of their ways of communicating. When we are in kennels, shelters, or at our house, "Oh, is that dog saying hi?" "Those dogs are telling us hi." "Do you hear those dogs saying hi?" I guess she did. Cracks me up.

Hi Hippo

G and Her Hippo

When Grace holds her little stuffed hippo, I (copying Jeff) say "Hippopotamus" in my best Greek accent. Well, today Grace takes her hippo, hugs it, and says, "Hi Hippo." It was pretty cool. Sure we don't have the more common words like ouch or cold down, although she communicates these very clearly, nor have I been working on them with her as much, but hippo is now on the vocab list.

Testing Gravity, Tiger Sitting, and Other Things I Don't Want to Forget

Gravity Test, Iteration #429

Grace is at the dump-everything stage. One of her favorite ways of playing with toys right now is loading up a basket or bin with toys, then raising it above her head and dumping it so the toys rain down on her head and around her. She smiles and starts loading up the basket again. Definitely some impressive Sisyphean clean up sessions for me or Jeff or Miss Cindy, but it is so fun to watch her start her experiment again as gravity continues to work and pull those toys over her.

Another fun game/routine we have is that when it is time for Grace to nap or go to bed, we get her jamis or sleep pants on, then say, "Do you want a bottle?" She starts saying "Ne ne," her word for drink, and goes to sit on her tiger. We hand her the bottle and she lies down with it on her tiger. The unspoken rule is that from then on she has to stay on her tiger until we put her in her crib. After she finished her milk and passes it off, we snuggle on the tiger. She started a fun game last week where she scoots off the tiger about a couple inches and smiles mischievously. We say, "Are you on the tiger?" She belly-laughs and throws herself smiling on the tiger. I love her games.

Prep for Gravity Test Iteration #437

Additionally, Grace's understanding of what we are saying has increased significantly in the past month. Two nights ago, Jeff and I were in the kitchen and Grace was charging around working on her projects. Jeff was saying that Grace had been frustrated earlier in the day because he did not do the correct (by her definition) hand movements for Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She would set the song to play on one of her toys and ask him to join her in doing it. I asked if he would like to learn the hand movements. I had started to show him when Grace came charging in with her laptop toy, pressed the button that plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and started doing the movements with me. She did not miss a thing in our conversation. I am sure a couple of weeks from now, this will be standard and not all that impressive. But to see these connections for the first time is really pretty cool. We have always included her in conversations and I know she is taking in a lot, but this lets me know that even if it appears she is busy and distracted, she is soaking it all in.

Laughing and smiling and dancing and growing --- not just referring to Grace, but to all of us.

The Easy Road Tripper

Reading To Herself On The Road

We are back home safely from our Texas travels. Yesterday was just a dream ride. Gorgeous sunny weather in the 50s and a car of happy creatures with Jeff driving, Fidel on my lap, and Grace, Em, and Oskar in back. It was one of those trips that makes you want to road trip to some far off place. We sang songs (lots of Raffi and lots of Rihanna, as they are some of Grace's favs), played games, ate our packed lunch, read books, and stopped at a rest stop north of Georgetown that was perfect for our crew... playground, clean family-friendly facilities, and an area to run kiddos and dogs in. It was just one of those picture perfect days and trips in which we just enjoyed the togetherness while reflecting on our Christmas vacation.

Puppy Love

Oskar Giving Kisses

This summer we adopted Oskar. While we have a revolving door of dogs in our home since we foster for Tzu Zoo Rescue, Grace was taken with Oskar as soon as he started to feel good enough to be up and around. She loves Emma and says hi to Fidel from a distance, but Oskar is her special friend. One of Grace's first phrases was, "Hi Oskar" [pronounced "Hi Ocka"] and she has a special voice she uses just for him.

Grace giggles with delight when he walks in the room and she full-body laughs when he does his silly puppy "pet me" dance. Given my experience with dogs and our rescue group, Grace and Oskar are only in contact with each other under very strict supervision with strong limits, but it is a friendship that is strong and blossoming.

I adore Oskar for my own relationship with him and the place he has in our family, but I am particularly grateful for Oskar and Grace's friendship. Occasionally Grace will wake up from her afternoon nap crying (maybe a nightmare?). When this happens, nothing can stop the crying except Oskar. I have tried dancing, singing, reading, rubbing, distraction, and everything else. If she wakes up crying, the crying can last up to 45 minutes. However, if she wakes up crying and I bring Oskar in with me, she stops instantly and says, "Hi Oskar," waving and smiling. Tears are arrested and Oskar is all that matters. His Oskar happy-go-luckiness is contagious.

There is something about a little girl and her dog. Oskar is definitely Grace's special one.

The Empowered Hider

Grace is playing hide and seek
Mommy counts and doesn't peek
Where will clever Gracie hide?
What hiding place is Gracie sized?

[adapted from Little Bunny]

So, a favorite game of ours is hide and seek. Jeff, Grace, and I have been playing it for a while, learning and evolving the rules as we go. The rules are pretty firmly established now. The seeker tries to find the hider. When they find the hider, the hider makes him or herself as big as possible (picture arms above head) and roars chasing the seeker away. We loosely take turns being the hider and seeker. The hider is more empowered in our version than in the game in which the hider simply keep running and keeps being the victim. You could say this is what happens when you have an existential counselor-to-be as a mom ["embrace your own agency in your life little girl"], but actually, Grace helped empower the hider just as much as Jeff and I did, if not more so. It is just how she rolls.

Today Grace really stepped up her hiding skills. This morning while Jeff was in the shower, Grace came to me beaming and let me know that she wanted to show me something. I followed her to the closet and she separated Jeff's shirts and slid in between them. I said, "Where's Grace?" in my silly voice. We went through this a couple of times.

Later today, she approached me and let me know she wanted to play hide and seek. I let her know I was in. Sure enough, second time for me to seek she took off into our closet (Believe it or not, I actually do peek for safety reasons). And what an excellent hiding job she did. I found her and she stood up, roared at me, and chased me out of the closet, through the bathroom, through the bedroom and down the hall. What an powerful little girl!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Or at least, if not the most wonderful, it is right up there. While Grace was with us for last Christmas, at the ripe age of two months, she did not get to partake in many Christmas festivities. However, this year, Christmas is totally ON.

Grace has already met Santa three times. The first time we were walking in the mall and she was playing her "hi" game. In this game she waves, smiles, and says "hi" to every person we pass. Sometimes they just wave back, sometimes they stop to talk to her, and a few ungracious sorts just keep walking. Well, the mall Santa did not have any kids and was standing at the edge of his Santa enclosure. So, as with anyone else, Grace waved, smiled, and said "Hi." Santa being Santa, assumed that it was a special hi just for him. The conversation progressed something like this:

Santa: "Hello. Ho Ho Ho. You are young to already know who Santa is."
Grace: "Hi."
Santa: "Are you coming to see me?"
Liesl: "Not today, but she will."
Grace: "Hi." [stepping up to a more vigorous wave]
Santa: "Have you been a good little girl?"
Grace: "Hi."
Santa: "I am sure you have."
Liesl: "We'll come back and see you. Can you say bye Grace?"
Grace: [vigorous good bye wave and huge smile]
Santa: Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas!

Waiting to See Santa

Grace also got to see Santa Claus and Ms. Claus at the Addison holiday brunch this morning. It was very serious business as she studied the other kids, the parents, and Santa and Mrs. Claus and all of their fun fare. She was not scared, but just watched and studied. She held her card patiently as she waited, and when it was our turn, the big pass off took place. No tears, not fear, just a very serious little girl trying to figure out how she needed to behave. The rest of the brunch was a delight. She knew she was all dressed up and was very careful eating. She got to see Miss Cindy, one of her favorite people, and got to meet and see a lot of people. The makings for a great day for Grace.

Then this evening, we took her to see the Farmer's Branch lights. We thought she would like them, but had no idea she would like them so much. We pulled into the little historic park and her face lit up with a wondrous smile. She pointed and talked softly about the lights. The entire time her eyes were bright and she looked as though she could not have been more amazed. It was one of those fun magical moments. And, at the end, she got to see Santa yet again. That guy certainly is everywhere. She waved hi from her seat and Santa waved back. With seeing Santa so many times, surely he will know what a good little girl she has been this year.

Christmas is always fun and I love the spirit of it all. But this year is just that much more wonderful getting to share the experience with Grace.

Love Those At Home Pajamas

At Home Henna Pajamas

My Aunt Jane introduced us to At Home children's sleep wear when she gave us two sets of their pajamas at Grace's baby shower. They were so cute and I was looking forward to Grace growing into them. They are made in the USA and you can feel the high quality in the fabric, design, and the way the seams are sewn. However, I had no idea how much I would love them until Grace actually put them to the test.

At Home pajamas are so darling, unique, comfortable, and easy. The level of quality is unparalleled by any other brand we have purchased. And, while they are a bit more expensive than most, we definitely have got our values worth (and then some) as they have held up better than any of her other jamis. Once Grace outgrew the original two sets her At Home pajamas, we washed and stored them for another little one (ours or someone else's) to use sometime in the future. And I have no doubt they will hold up to that little one as well.

For Grace's birthday, she received two more pair of At Home pajamas and our At Home loyalty has only grown. They are just wonderful and very deserving of our praise. These definitely are on the list of our Favorite Grace Gear and I highly recommend this brand to anyone with little one ones.